blooming clovers

somedays you wish would never end.

a single minute, and every passing hour,

it seems to only get brighter.

work has been "blastful"

16 feb, 8.oopm..

and i'll be singing" lucky, lucky, you're so lucky.."

fool for love

old habits die hard.

the spots remain,no matter how they try to conceal,

eventually you realise nothing ever did change.

and it was pure wishful thinking.

abused love.

let me go cold turkey..

let me break free from this addiction.

give me rehab.

Done my laundry

the day would be one of fluttering leafy greens and crimson light,

indulging in the sweet sweet beauty of retail.

finally after prolong seasons of handouts,

tomorrow's spenditure gonna come out from MY pockets.

yes, independent streak on row and its

strike one.

unfortunately,my expenditure's might have to function on a slightly tighter budget.

having to work with my notorious money management skills,

i'm a tinsy bit weary.

reknown labels infused with vintage chapalang glitz, the perfect knockout combination ;)

My modern Romeo

happy 16 months, i love you

i need you to hold me tight and tell me everything's gonna be alright.

please.... i'm breaking,losing grip..drifting away..so far away.

do you feel it?

i want instant death.

expired

why won't people ever get their facts straight.

they assume ,and never bother to investigate further.

so for trash like this, i have nothing more to say to them.

it was purely redundant for me to even bother trying to work things out.

it hurts cause you u think they would be those you take with u through life.

i've reach a point where i'm emotionally exausted ,

where things aren't even worth salvaging.

take a hint though, you don't want to mess with me either.

rejection overruled

DO NOT talk to me like i owe you any explanation.
situations were unintended.
judge me not cause you get it ten times worse.
i was sorry bout the inconvinience..
but now..i guess not.

feed me insanity

hibernation has finally taken its toll ,leaving me insanely bored..

so deranged that

I actually force myself to think of something to think about.

my very pathetic attempt to keep any wandering thoughts towards him.

(argh!!I'm doing it again)

I have officially run out of ideas,

I stare blatantly at the com screen,

flip aimlessly through magazines,

channel surfed everything on cable,

fluffed puddles,thrice!(till I think she's annoyed and might start to bald soon)

and

rewatched every possible movie worth my time.

my only resort, a sojourn with the Mr sandman.

unfortunately, the mind seem to be working on the contary.

high time I rewired every twisted vessel in my system.

alrighty alls not lost,I shall continue my battle after revitalising myself

with my

trueblueenergyboosting power supplies.

"yes, one mik mac meaul upswize purlease."

Mutilated beauty

is it human nature to express better when spirits are low?

cause it appears the world tends to do so.

with words that seem to hold such depth and connection,

its a sad analogy,

when such truth,beauty and art can only be expressed at the expense of someone's hurt.

maybe its instinct, that we react to pain and heartbreak a lil more than that to someone else's joy or satisfaction.

perhaps,we envy the happy and contented or is it a genectic flaw to be sadistic?

I scrolled down my achieves,

and I detect a similarity.

depression could in its own way ,be beautiful.

though,judging by my recents,

I reckon,

I'm crapyly happy :)))

agnate minds

tonight ,I forfeited one of my allnightcrazymindfcukhighs
due to the extremely late return of my cash registers.
*apparently my mom had another latenight itchy finger synrome .
alas,the one&only mustafa.

and again,fustration taken up a new level.

lately,the cosy feel of hibernation is gradually growing on me.

having shop and dine from the comforts of home beats, fighting the rowdy city crowd.

a new addiction up on a rise ;)

somehow, I'm too lethagic to leave the house, except for the very rare and promising occasions.

where i still practically drag my arse out.

but,as lazy as i want to be, i figured i need out.

all that free time, gets my mind wandering, a tad too far.

i miss him so much that if its even

logically possible,i'll tie a note to a pigeon and fly it over the grossly polluted waters of Singapore ,in hope that this trusty feathered friend of mine would somehow find him in that dense eeky tekong forest.

sharnz suggested,adopting the old coventional,message in a bottle idea.

either way, i'm driving myself bonkers *~*

"close your eyes,

think of me,

look to the night sky,

cos we'll wish upon that same star."

under my skin

i'm not one to lament over spilt milk

but..

your presence is immensely missed.

weekends without you and having nothing to look forward to is killing me.

give me..

just the sweet calming sound of your voice,just one call.

i think i have actively destructive hands.

any sort of battery operated,merchanical appliance

crumble or disappear in my hands,

cameras , phones, ipods...damnit!

bad bad karma.

for like the 8th time now..i need a new phone.

maybe its time i undergo some '"karma esrever' spell.

and if that fails ,i shall resort to surgically removing my hands.

yes,feel my fustration!

For better,for worse

does company really alter one's personality.
the change can be so,so drastic yet suttle,
it rushes in like a tidal wave or sometimes it
gradually creeps up and slowly engulfs you.
through many similar situations is it that changes are rarely for the better.
I know it's imminent, but a single change could prove such damage.
have you ever wondered what it would be like if life remained consistent.
I wish I knew why things took such a bitter turn,
or why people have a sudden change of heart.
perhaps its the mystic of it all,the beauty of the unpredictable.

so lead me to deception,and tie me to resentments.
either way, a change can do you good.

drown me

still raging at the fact, that i'll be missing my weekend delight.

entertain me!!i'm a grumpy girl ;(

stupid stoopid field camp.Phuee!

what i would give ,for my happy high refill

Dust buster

I have embarked on my route to self improvement .

for starters I cleared the overdued wasteland aka,my room.

From my clogged wardrobe(colour coordinated as well),to my toppling tree of bags,

to the my "dumping ground' study table and finally my dispersed pile of belts.

I reorganized EVERYTHING.* if you've seen my room before, you'll be so proud :]

satisfaction at its finest.

I sense a new burst of energy and zeal.

could be the upcoming lunar new year festive mood.

(I even had my nails painted a shade of blood red to welcome the season (; )

or maybe..

the rekindled faith.

knowing I have their approval,makes me believe.

thank you.

this time round..Its gonna be a 110%.*pinky swears

flick the dirt of your shoulder,

discard all dirty laundry

and hang those prettywhities for all to see.

Saucy lingerie and untainted innocence

The dirty little secret about sex,

is it isn't dirty at all .

pifty baht

Our usual drinking buds,great company,old friends
the ultimate amount of alcohol.
countless shots and flaming lambos, plus a kickass theme,
it had all the makings for an AWESOME party.
the night progressed and we penced around like kids in our jammies,
photowhoring,mamasaning,clowning..till that dreaded merlioning,which i must emphasize was not me.

i figured it probably was some supernatural forces at work on that cursed Friday the 13th.

despite that interrupted night of puke cleaning and apparent fight club,

it still rocked balls ;)

Happy fcuking birthday jae, sharnz and lynn :)

shapeshifters

i resolve my issues, by indulging in such camerawhorelic,

triggerhappy,selfabsorbed destruction.

smile :)

love or loathe

i don't intend for you to like me back.

Feed on my vanity

This may sound all ditzy ,

but lately I've cultivated a severe addiction to the velvety feel of suede.

leather hobo bags,

woven embroidered belts,

trashy cowboy boots,

vintage glam,

faded worn-out denim

puffy flare skirts..

and piles of gold chunky accessories.

I've gone bohofetishgila.

vanity, my one true religion ;)

Steal my thunder

Have I lost all ability to express,

or did my words come out wrong?

I don't know what to feel.

sad,hurt,annoyed,despised or maybe all.

I'm desperate to start afresh..

causes I want to live my dreams.

disappointment is inevitable..But why does this particular one hurt the greatest.

could it be,I expect to much,

or isit that I'm insanely flawed that you see a need to pick at my ego.

your opinion was most critical.

your support was what was needed..

of all people, u were my one true pillar.

where are you?

Where's the endearing woman I once knew?

for each forgotten care ,

for all the memories,for all the times I look

said all we had to say,you played your cards so well.

Simultaneous reaction

competition can be such hazards.

sweeping in, wracking lives,bonds,reputations..

defiling minds ,betrayal of integrity..

competition lures out the very worst and yet the very best,

Based on our personal preferences.

how do we determine what's best,

or right from wrong,

there is a very thin line here.

question remains..

will you risk it all for that one true spark of satisfaction,

or abstain from such infedelities and stickclose to what we regard as morally correct.

lonely cab rides home allow me time to fanthom the many insercurites and uncertainties I have towards life.

time to reflect,

time to submerge my mind in streams of "what if" and "whys"

moments i consider sacred.

my very own mindstimulating orgasm ;)

I pondered tonight,

have i developed ?

as a girlfriend

a daughter,

a friend..

as a person.

..And I think to myself, what a wonderful day.

smell the roses

life often seems undeniably beautiful once love intervenes.

sometimes I pray it wasn't cause..When it fades,the pain rips you to shreds.

but how can one disregard or shun these onceinalifetimes,

when you're lifted to the highs of such felicity.

Even for all the shattered bits of heartbreak,

take a chance.

I know I did..

and life's never been better.

to love, is to be vulnerable

House calls

school has barely begun and I feel like germ fest.

I speak on micro-filtered frequency,due to the constant scratching in my larynx.

the hourly coughs seem to have progressed bythesecond, and I'm drowning in my mucus.

condemned and redeemed

a new sense of renewal,

maybe,this is me.

alright, give me my brands of essence :)

*i've got mighty cute 'bolla bolla" earrings,coutesy of miss feliciaty.

'O' Laa!! everyone.

Where do I begin

I do not look forward to living life this way,period

its time to get off the bench and put my life back in perspective.

but as they say, honor the past before you look to the future.

here are 5 significance in the year 2005:

The highs

it was basically the girl and her addictions.

The money

the route to all evil.

these leafy greens always fall short.

The people

Felicia, my crazy allnighter.

Sarah, my hopeless cynic.

li hui, my September romance.

James, mr steadfast,my timeless style.

jimmy, mr"like Bruce lee".

nick, mr drunk amnesia.

Felix, mr tissue.

Nadia,miss tech savy

The one

Despite the countless fights and breakups,

we made it work.

2006,we'll relive and revive those lucid memories

wankyboo,I love you.

The Randoms

my 'on impulse' tongue piercing

my craz'ae ass trip to hk/china

our first getaway

our longest break up

my prolonged bitch fits

aggressive odd day clubbing

the short lived infatuations

prawning mania

the next would be irrelevant,but..wth,I'll add it in cause it makes me smile ;)

the nemesis

that tall dark skinny guy with a weener the size of a cocktail straw.

I feel your pain,NOT.

Okay so the year hasn't been that great,more like a rollercoaster ride with the inevitable downs.

but as I look back..Life lessons learnt,good ones in fact.

All in all ,2005 was good while it lasted and I loved every bit of that crap filled year.

happy 2006,people.