Pumpkin pie

Tonight, the dead shall wander,
evil will reign and
spirits lurk close behind.


I'm still in need for detox,
cause my system continues to reek of alcohol.
But somehow, circumstances are never alongside.
.zouk.
darn these temptations.
once again, I'll partake from this forbidden fruit and put on hold my sanity.


happy Halloween.

Shut up already

stop your pitiful facades..
hello!We're so darn sick of your overly open mindset.
tired of being innocently linked to your very tarnished reputation.
annoyed by your "i'msomature" mentality
cause face it bitch, you aint even close.
pardon my angst, but you know what,
you're not even worth my dislike.

quit working your underhand ways..
resign to living your miserable life in the slumps.

ahh..there all better now.

sugar rush

its alright to be impulsive.
let loose.
hold close to heart these tender moments
for they come by ever so rarely.

Human remains

so many bottle up emotions

slowly and pain strickenly clawing its way out..

is there such a need for these suppressed feelings.

thoughts and questions revolve around this axis of deception.

The mind is one of a wandering soul.

why the necessity to fear these mindless accusations.

how is it possible that we apprehend the outcome even if it's eating us inside.

we bury our differences,

helplessly praying for circumstances to change

after all, we're still human and if you dig a lil deeper,

you'll find that unreplenishable void of uncertainties.

boredometre:100%

in a very crazy attempt to ravage time,
I'm currently parked alongside two equally bored mortals at some god-forsaken lan shop.
one's zonked and playing gunbound, the other finds it fascinating messing with perverted freaks on IRC..
and there's me;doing this.
shoot me,cause I'm actually this close to playing dota.
..maybe its those fried worms taking it's toll....
*bang! bang! my boredom shot me down down down down...

spilt milk

you're blind to my sacrifices..

happy anniversary,ilu.

Wayward route

defenselessly watching them take you,

that moment ,

my heart lost all zeal to beat.

and it seem like I lost the very essence of my soul.

for all the pain and heartbreak you put us through,

for all those countless disappointments

for your immense lack of self appreciation

for all your broken promises

for leaving..

I hate you.

when will it ever be..

when you'll learn to love yourself more than we do.

sudden mishaps ,and pain stricken moments ..

do you not see?

I wish I didn't need your smiles,

your laughter,

your voice.

I wish I didn't need you.

but you've become that constant devoir .

a very essential prominent.

the days ahead already seem bleak

much more the years..

all these while..

you were my pillar, my smile..

my miss September romance..

for all's worth,

how can you not know...

that we love you too.

picture perfecto

a fortnight away from limpid euphoric indulgences

same o same old

another deadly sashimi affair

another bitchy conspiracy

another fel*hong dispute saga.

another disappearing act*courtesy of *akastoner

another masive alcohol overload.

another eyecandy infestation.

another night spent intoxicated.

tonight,another wednesday,

and i reckon it'll be another dancingfrenzydisomaniac session.*weet.

bytheway, earth to sarah:

school's out.it's time to PARTAE ;)

lucid beauty

....so they try again.

lets recreate what we've lost,

and this time,it'll be about us.

pinch me

last night's shenanigans left me looking like roadkill.

but

despite the abhorrent after-effects,

throbbing headaches

and mindless yakety yaks ,

i enjoyed every spect of this crazy mindfcuk overdose.

oooh..why i love saturdays ;)

blinded scars

regardless the outcome..

changes will be made.

burdens carried

guilt suppressed

will the pain exonerate,

when the lies come undone.

clear blue skies

its one of those fairytale mornings where

chirping birds flutter past the window

and the sweet alluring smell of morning lingers in the air.

sunlight creeping through the curtains,

slowly filling the darker corners of the room.

and as i wake to this sweet beauty,

i turn and whisper ,

i love you.

*wish you were here*

halle'toot'jah

i harboured the idea of attending service drunk and stonned.

it'll be rather amusing..illusioning floating pastors and wavering church goers.

but i guess i might be taking things a lil too far..maybe a tinsy bit blasphemous.

thus i decided to chuck the idea.

.i'm such a retard.

mindfcuk

in a pathetis attempt to stay awake ,

i've taken 3 baths and a shower within a 2hr time span*my skin is this close to peeling.

fel is now stumped out on my couch,failing to heed any of my wake up calls.'tsk'

and she has yet to take a shower.

i officially declare saturdays my current "happyhighday"..

and tonight made no exception.

did have a tad to much,

which explains my constant zoning and ludicrous conversations .

the alcohol still lingers in my breath

and my 4am bak ku teh continues to churn in my stomach.argh.

amazingly despite my hurling tendencies, i'm actually starting to get the munchies,

so i might just go make myself a dozen instant escargot and a plate of salmon sashimi*grins*

now;

it shows 7am

.a two minute smoke break

.an hour of the oc

.another hour spent trying to wake lil' ms deep*sleep up

.additional thirty minutes convincing her to take a shower

which leaves me with exactly 28 mins of stoning before i start getting ready for church.

what i would give now,for a "happyhigh' refill.bleah =P

worthless promises

i'm finally home.
all that anticipation never did pay off.

still feeling pretty bollixed bout this entire episode .

appologies never made

questions unanswered

words unsaid

the longer i drift in this void of uncertainties

the further i drift into the darkness.

i need my purpose.

love me without regret,

embrace me like theres no terminal,

fulfill my heart's deepest desire,

reasure me,

source out my every strength ,

compliment my weaknesses,

craddle my pain,

be my heaven,my alpha .

till then..she loves no more.

mirror image

i question my very exsistence,
these next few days will be spent reflecting.

plastic facades

i slipped on the tub while trying to sneak a smoke in the bathroom ,
think i might have sprained my back and i feel a huge bruise surfacing.god! it hurts!

Maybe i should thank god for the fall..cause in some mysterious way,
it worked.
i've decided to bite my lips and appologise to mom.
and so.. yeah, i'm going home.*this is for you too sarah sweetie*
after weeks of crazy escapades, i'm throwing in the white flag.
sick of being so damn fcuking broke ,
sick of the daily clubbing,
sick of leading that random lifestyle
and sick of the alcohol overload.
weird that i'm actually saying this but somehow..
partying is best left for the weekends.

so well, my fingers are crossed,
and i'm only hoping for the best x(
-sometimes i think i'm actively hazardous to myself-