tears run dry

The past two weeks have seen me spiralling down to the pits..
into this abyss of anguish,deceit,desperation and despair.
and it's slowly depleting me by the hour, feasting away on my already fragile soul.
abundant unanswered questions..yet i fear the outcome.
leaving me with sleepless nights and a wandering mind.

is it ever possible to be strong.
we presume,we charade .. we try to do all thats necessary to cover the pain..
but when its dark and loneliness creeps in, don't we break down?
i refuse to be weak,
i resent being one of those detestable weaklings who wail to their friends about their certain emptyness.
thus this sudden impulsive lifestyle.*appologies to those i've hurt in the process*
lately partying and alcohol has been my constant two way ticket .
taking me for a night of temporary fantasy eventually bringing me back to that pending reality.

After all these while,
i repeat my mistakes..
and as a consequence,
just like a "sailess" boat,
i'm left drifting..only to patiently await salvation.