The almost famous

new year sexolutions

2009-01-13T02:17:00.000-08:00

pretty much like this blog, life is stagnant and I'm getting restless..
so as they say, in with the new and out with the ho.

MOVED

2008-06-13T03:33:00.000-07:00

i say fcuk gladiators and give me FIERCE!!

hello my love,
welcome to my closet :)

quite a show

2008-05-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

to all who made this day more than a blast ,to all who made it down and to all who planned the impossible.i was genuinely surprised :)THANK YOU GUYS!!

And to the one and only who made this all possible.my love i am and have been at a loss for words..ever since you came dashing into my life with that beyond cheeky smirk to brighten
every cloudy day :)i love you .

to sum it all up.
an all expense paid trip to Bangkok over the weekend
a wild surprise party upon my arrival
and pleasant blue surprises
one resting on my index finger
and the other where, every precious memory and moment will be written :)

'the older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune'
i love birthdays :)

do the hula in da gym

2008-01-31T13:47:00.000-08:00

''You get over the heartbreak but you never really quite forget.

And those times when the pangs hit you,

it feels like you've got the wind knocked out of you;

you try to breathe but all that your body lets in is a dull ache.

Your fixation on healing wounds blinds you from

how you've been blessed with a greater love, one who attempts to capture

all the pain and wrong in the world so that you no longer have to live a dark day.

This is a man who knows he has no part to play in changing what has happened,

but he will go to the ends of the earth to make sure your eyes will never bleed another tear.

And even if they do, he wants to be the one who will hold you close,

kiss you on the forehead

and chase the boo-hoos away.''

Then you realize,

it's alright to cry.

But you don't want to cry with anybody else but him,

because even at your lowest of lows,

he smiles and says,

"score"

can't take my tears

2008-01-31T08:46:00.000-08:00

just the other day you surprised me with this .

marc jacobs+gold+vanity = a very indecent obsession

you once asked why.
because u see pass my insercurities and doubt
because baby,
you have what i want the most,
a heart of gold .

Now,thats hotter than gold itself ;)

for you i resurrect

2008-01-24T07:20:00.000-08:00

"Each friend represents a world in us,

a world possibly not born until they arrive,

and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

- Anais Nin

house of cards in a huricane

2007-09-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

As i sit here twirling my hair around my finger and and restlessly tapping my fingers against the keys, my mind and my heart doesn't seem to stay insync and its extremely unsettling and yet relieving, i'm guessing its one of those gemini shifting moments..

hur. fuck this emo nemo jumble rumble, i'm here,just trying to fill the space..
yup and it seems thats all i've been doing.

oh well. heres, just because:

. journeys to the west have taken a right turn and i'm nesting pretty well inbetween.
perks of central civilisation , friends and lover all just a stone throws away :)
.took yet another major hit to my cheebs and spent new yrs eve still mildly sedated :(
but then again general anesthesia ..always a positive form of high :)
hmm yet nausea and headbang not very complimenting :(

walking as though i have what seems like a vaginut
and getting reaquainted with the flu..
i must say great start to the year
hello"too' o o' eh"!!!

brilliant.

"fucking you"

2007-08-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

i spent the day watching the entire "young and dangerous" series

yes all six of them( unleashing my inner lian)

that's right..that's bout 18 hrs of my very redundant life..

yea well , beats sleeping... :s

so, it started with boredom and

the very addictive introduction of pp stream from urs truly ;(

(sharnz you're gg to hell for this)

then before i knew it

i realised i invested too much time to walk away from it.

i can understand why a show like this could be so influential

esp given the kids who watch it are of such vulnerable impressionable age.

what more in my case,it turned an ang moh, ah beng.

i would say that does enough justice to the movie.

anyhow Ekin is hot like melted cheese..

so who's complaining ;)

now i will say this again

cause i think its necessary

"fucking you !!"

Argh..too much lian in my system..

so just allow it .

Get me through the day

2007-08-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

I'll take that step into that winding maze

and when i make my way out..

it'll still be you i want at the end with me .

2007-08-13T03:23:00.000-07:00

You Are a Pinky

You are fiercely independent, and possibly downright weird.
A great communicator, you can get along with almost anyone.
You are kind and sympathetic. You support all your friends - and love them for who they are.

You get along well with: The Ring Finger

Stay away from: The Thumb

What Finger Are You?

Saving smiles for you

2007-08-06T03:43:00.000-07:00

So much has happened and yet i can't find the words.
but for highlights ..
my Dottie resemblance popped by for a week
to give me some much needed love and
though it was short his presence gave me much comfort .

well maarten dearest, thank you for the many smiles
and for making all my boohoos go away :)
more trance tripping and
finally my Rave fantasy come October !!
Holland baby!!Whoopydoo!!!
Ooh,I can barely wait ;P

the obsession ends here

2007-07-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

you know what makes me this way,

its you.

and what makes me retaliate this way,

its you.

i seem to be losing sight of what this is.

I'm not holding on just so i can prove to you that you're wrong..

I'm holding on to prove to me .

i know I'm better than this

and there's a million more of me you have yet to discover.

so I'm telling you ,

don't write me off just yet.

ineedtotakemymindoffhisabsence

2007-06-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

Cause i refuse to face reality, i ran as far away as possible.
yup i took myself (and my many loves)
a thousand miles away,

from the land of a thousand fines to the beloved land of a thousand smiles

and as a bonus my birthday lasted an extra hour ;)

So it was to route 66

for my big countdown

The very unavoidable
birthday Alcohol drowning

dancing lancing

friendly gimmicks:
my usual bubblygums
and a few new sweet additions :)

Birthday dining:

i made away with the conventional .Twenty one for the 21.

guess somehow tradition sticks,
cause we still had slices ;)

To all who made it a beautiful beginning.
thank you my loves :)

2007-06-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

king of my heart

I'm trying to put into words how much you mean to me

I'm trying to begin but no matter how..

it never comes out the way i want it to.

there'll be no song,nor quote

no speech ,nor poem

just the silence i linger in .

i want no beginning and no end

i want us..the way it is.

may it be at worlds end,

just promise you'll leave your heart here with me.

big girls don't cry

2007-05-23T01:16:00.000-07:00

its hard to determine if I'm 20 turning 21
or
20 turning 13.

it seems to me that i rather indulge in ice cream and live with curfews
than pay for ice cream and give curfews.

it never occurred to me how important it is to cherish your youth
i know this may sound a wee bit dramatic since I'm merely turning 21..
but still..i never gave thought to the issue, and not once did i understand the meaning of responsibility.

i dread the birthdays to come,
where forever i will always be treated
with expectations to that of an adult.

goals,success and failures.

heartbreaks,betrayals and love.
denial and reality.

Ok Janna.
next stop, 30.

playmates and lovers

2007-05-16T18:06:00.000-07:00

you're there standing with your arms wide open,

constantly holding on to a smile,

giving more than is ever needed,

believing despite the hurt.

yet

I'm blinded by self loathe and blind to your sacrifices

why do i always push you away even when i need you most.

baby,i'll take me some baby steps to setting it right.

Be a lil more patient ,have a lil more confidence

cos i know i'll get there.

2007-05-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

we began our day a tad behind schedule

with me being late again :( yet somehow, he took the fall for me .
basking and baking

caught a lil glimpse of heaven
and a lil ray of hope

indeed a day filled with

aplenty :)

I do what we do.

2007-04-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

Rules of the game:

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1. I have never dyed my hair.yeap,dye virgin and I'm loving it :P

2. I have a mole/dot/whatever u make of it centred at the tip of my nose.

3. I can't prwonounce the letter R. it turns out sounding like 'ow'.

4. I was suppose to be a boy.So it states my moms ultrasound scan.

5. I generally suck at ball games.

6. I hate soft toys.thank you but no thanks.

7. My email add is janna_tle@yahoo.co.UK. (imma closet kantang)

8. I dropped my last milk tooth when i was 20.

9. I cooked my first maggie when i was 17.

10. I have never had a dreamless sleep.

I tag:

No stranger in this town

2007-04-17T01:05:00.000-07:00

Day 2:

She says:'rise and shine lovelies,its a brand new day ahead'

i love how she's sucha morning person.

thank you for the beautiful start to our day:)

After much damage done to our pockets

we parade our one similar buy.
multiple shades of us:

one

two

three

four

five

Mismatched

Jeriel felt left out being the only single ard us couples ,

so here you go kor,i know you like ;)

These are the words of the

''seafood!!''

it was a day's anticipation for

the famous sentosa 'zhi cha'

and it was more than worth the wait.

just a few of my all time favourites :)

other dishes included sting ray and lala.

Their portions were pretty huge but still

it was so good we all shamelessly indulged in seconds.

The happy and satisfied

Give the girl some sugar. we pop by a local mama shop ,to stock up on childhood candys

to pop on our way home :)

create an awareness:

FYI, any form of P.d.a is more then just frowned upon in Malaysia.

before heading over,i casually joked to kin bout how they'll shoot us if we were caught making out.

well, i almost had to eat my words when a polis officer escorted us

into a office to lecture us about morals and dignity.

I understand if it was like a wet intense snog

but in my defence,it was merely a peck.

what actually bummed me most was the fact that

they later went about slimming Singapore for being overly westernised.

seriously Malaysia..

that's not very nice.

so..

at the customs.

lets just say i made sure it made them very uncomfortable.

Enjoy 'mut'herfuckers .

Entry wounds

2007-04-12T12:15:00.000-07:00

...bäst på att skriva onödigt skit som betyder ingeting,

dock endå någonting meningsfullt på samma gång...

ChefOfLovE

2007-04-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

though it may not seem long,

i know life won't be as precious without you to share it with.

Have a blast babe, i'll be anxiously anticipating your return.

i miss you already :(

Gulible's travel

2007-04-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend:

we made a trip pass the causeway.

Day 1

welcome to Malaysia

bubble grump

a diedie must buy : Gum

As a kid,

i remember constantly popping

both chewing and bubble gum

cause i had this logic that it would blow a bigger bubble .

it was proven wrong of cos,but

honestly..I'll still stick by it.

*sigh*childhood seems so much more endearing.

match the thoughts:

a.Wah!! so chio ar

b.FEED ME !!

c.huh?

d.See my hat!!i heart :D

So off to feed we did..

..and it was a feast indeed.

we were starving ,so we asked how long the food would take.

and they told us 40 mins..

but somehow they came in 20.

so jonnny reasoned that cause

of the exchange rate..their timing has to be divided by 2.25 as well :)

i say its pretty darn accurate.

On the way to the movies,i stopped for a lil old skool.

TMNT.

well,it does the cartoon no justice.

almost worth the price though.

Almost.

he clearly didn't enjoy the movie either .

we didn't plan on staying the night,

but still managed to locate a decent enough hotel

to accommodate us 5 wanderers.

Tada:Tropical Hotel

indulging in some hotel madness

for just 13 sng dollars each.

oh why i lovelovelove the exchange rate.

Music fOr the Sad man

2007-04-07T02:06:00.000-07:00

Attack of the teeny tinys :)

not just friends..
..but

more than family

what can i say,he scares easily .

BoyOboy.

feels so good to be back.

nothing beats being in familiar ground surrounded by familiar faces .

my FEIicity

2007-04-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

...into my arms :)

its been too long.

and i'm missing you silly .

lets comb the streets like we own it.

life on hold

2007-04-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

you push all the right and yet my very wrong buttons .
I'm sorry you think "sorry" seems to be my hardest word.

.Pick your player.

2007-04-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

can't keep a straight face

2007-04-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

Tripping downit was back to St James..again.
party peeps , and we're in the pink of "health"

my swedish says: "yes, i can fully understand you now."

congrats baby ;)

on our way back to sanity, we pull a lil "Qua si mi Qua" moment.

yea, you're a tiny bit more "sia lan".

back to basics

2007-03-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

i decided to use back the original template,figured it was way more visual friendly.

I've pretty much grown out of the over-rated fancy pansy layouts.

(not that my previous was anything to brag abt either)

guess i enjoy that its less complicated.

ironic given that my life's complicated as it is

and I've always been a walking contradiction.

side tracking a Lil,

my all time favourite,

"old married couple"

i appreciate how you inject hope into all that may seem bleak.

Angel in disguise

2007-03-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

"i love alot."

"ha, i missed 'you'."

"i know."

i miss you too :)

"same shit,different night"

2007-03-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

After what seemed like months(3 weeks in actual)

from my ever so ritualnocturnalistic habits,

i granted myself a night of sin

with the usual suspects :) and

also joined by
the blood ties

Her famous drunk words ;D

being random here:

There's a cat in my estate making some very freaky cat cries

which sound very much like

those of a crying/whinny kid. *spooked*

Better without

2007-03-24T21:22:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry i took your efforts for granted,

I'm sorry i turned my back and walked away

I'm sorry I'm always late

I'm sorry i never thanked you

I'm sorry i hung up

I'm sorry i left you alone

I'm sorry that I'm never sorry

I'm sorry you loved me

Cheers to the fool who singlehandedly destroyed a chance at happiness.

hard to be faithful

2007-03-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

All i have,

all i consecrate,

is this life i lay down before you.

and if its not what you desire..

I'll settle for a memory.

Lost and found

2007-03-21T17:26:00.000-07:00

lost and forgotten ,

hidden in the new and forward,

i found a tinge of the old and left behind.

Broken pots and Painted rainbows

2007-03-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

He says love makes him fly

i say it drowns me

the"bet cha i can jump higher"challenge:

and the outcome:

"cause i'm the king!"

nbcb ;)

but despite your avid state of cocky kinesics,

baby,you're all i see :D

happy anniversary, kid.

Mmmm..

2007-03-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

Wowwowweewow..

now,

don't cha?

11.03.07

2007-03-11T12:49:00.000-07:00

And so the weekend went down like this:

gathered at

in celebration of

JON's birthday.

and we sure made a ball out of it ;)

happy jon day!!

Maybe i'm amazed

2007-03-07T01:48:00.000-08:00

U know I love it when u loving me

Sometimes it's better when it's publicly

I'm not ashamed I don't care who seesUs hugging & kissing a love exhibition Oh

We'll rendezvous out on the fire escape

I'd like to set off an alarm today

The love emergency don't make me wait

Just follow I'll lead uI urgently need you

Let's go to the park

I wanna kiss u underneath the stars

Maybe we'll go too far

We just don't care

Let's make love,

let's go somewhere they might discover us

Let's get lost in lust

We just don't care

-P.D.A(we just don't care) by John Legend

His way of P.D.A:(

Never too late

2007-03-02T12:07:00.000-08:00

"say i love you to those you love.

the eternal silence is enough to be silent in."

-George Eliot

you're my inspiration,

my serenity

and

everything i could only hope to become.

i love you plenty mummy dearest.

Clip my wings

2007-02-27T23:19:00.000-08:00

i took a feed from the devils palm, and now there's no turning back.

I'm no hero,

neither am i criminal.

I'm just searching..

trying to validate my very existence.

i spotted a ray of light from afar,

clouds cleared ,and for a brief moment,

i was safe.

maybe, I've come to the end of my horizon.

"all i got was a dream was as real as it seems,i made a mistake"

-happy birthday by flipsyde

in my eyes

2007-02-26T13:21:00.000-08:00

how can i love with a deadline?

can i surrender all despite the very unpredictable future?

i'm so tired of living in doubt

ridding on insercurities

with demons roaming my head

i'm constantly putting a filter on my emotions..

holding back and ultimately risking all i have.

i can do without you

Yet,

the mere sound of your voice melts my heart,

the thought of you still gives me butterflies,

your kiss still leaves me breathless

your embrace still soothes my fears,

i still get lost in those lazy brown eyes

and the fact that i miss you even

with you standing beside me.

i can't be without you

i know i'm very much the lost soul,

but

don't ever stop believing

my heart only belongs to you.

"love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise"
-Samuel.J-

clouds above me

2007-02-22T11:52:00.000-08:00

And at the back of my mind,

it keeps screaming"pull away,before its too late"

so sick of living in regret.

i'm tired of playing the safe cards,

pulling out before the game even begins.

taking risks had never been a restrain

and yet now, all i want to do is keep in the box,

behind the yellow lines.

"when did it cross the line from being fun to becoming scary."

-carrie bradshaw (Sarah jessica parker) Sex and the city

Real to me

2007-02-20T03:20:00.000-08:00

"its never perfect, but i swear you're fucking close"

baby ,that to me is pure perfection .

i love you :)

my 'kin'der surprise

2007-01-25T16:25:00.000-08:00

thank you for loving me

i love you.

happy twenty third :D

january baby bliss

2007-01-25T00:12:00.000-08:00

happy birthday sharnz, shawn and steff.

post-its and fold ups

2007-01-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

i miss you even though you're right here beside me.

what should i make of this ?

Anywhere in the wind

2006-12-30T01:18:00.000-08:00

leon's back,
jeev's back,

and
life's back on track.

family

friends

and you

a new place,

a new lease on life..
and a new year.

I'll start it counting my blessings.

aside from the laggard internet connection and

my ever so persistent cold,

i'm liking how its heading :)

My resolution:
I'll see your happiness and raise you satisfaction.

Gift wrapped

2006-12-25T06:34:00.000-08:00

merry christmas to all ,
and to all
a good night :D

Dare to deal ?

2006-12-22T02:40:00.000-08:00

sibling love at its sweetest

ridin dirty ;p

A toast , to all that is sparkly bubbly gold and white :D

for real

2006-12-21T10:32:00.000-08:00

i'm glad we tied up loose ends :)

Raised

2006-12-17T16:22:00.000-08:00

plus our very own candy floss machine :D

throw in

then

and finally

Happy 21st Timmy boy,Jon dearie ,Andre sweetie and Ping baby.
a million kisses for the world's best party planners

2006-12-17T10:02:00.000-08:00

hmm..

This year

2006-12-15T15:52:00.000-08:00

I don't need explanation,

sympathy,

just give me assurance

I don't need sweet nothings

flattery

just give me truth

I don't need affection,

concern

just give me love

I don't need a Christmas list

to make a Christmas wish

just give me a Christmas miracle

Fall asleep on my knee

2006-12-11T16:09:00.000-08:00

I believe in soulmates and that it is infact what

makes life all the more worthwhile.

where chemistry and passion collide.

infactuation and farmilarity over ride,

a combirnation of love and agression

forming the perfect equation.

there comes a time where you cross paths,

and for every moment spent together

you disregard the world and its blatant surroundings..

cause it no longer matters anymore.

but it doesn't always have to lead the way you intend it to,yes?

I admit it may seem all picture perfect..And a part of me yearns it

but the mere chance of this unexpected fairytale,subdued

whatever left me cold and numb.

they say,you write out the chapters in your life,

and maybe I choose to keep this short but sweet.

it might not have an happy ending ..

but netherless, it would be a fairytale :)

Chores and sing alongs

2006-12-03T02:14:00.000-08:00

you live out the weekdays for your weekends.
my Saturday night itinnary came as a surprise.
i finally made my virgin trip down to bbbc

(yes Leon,you were partly the reason :p)

and I must say..It was an unexpected change of preference,

chilllac corners, cheapass bourbon..trippytrance booming from underneath,

and..of cos great company..always an essential.

ROAD TRIP BABY!!

our quest to the holy grail ;)

Day tripping

2006-11-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

i'm constantly retyping my entry
cos everytime he sneaks a peek at me
i get distracted and lose my trail of thought *-*

He's paper is in 15 hous time and
he requies full concentration for now,
so to avoid further damage on both ends
i'll head out for a smoke.

one two buckle my shoe..
three four out the door..
he sure knows how to put me in a chirpy mood :))

Wake up your idea

2006-11-27T02:29:00.000-08:00

"yes, a precious gift you were,

a treasured gem.

amany memories shared and stored.

my sole companion in times of boredom,sorrow and joy

crazymad drunk nights or solemn chillpill sessions

capturing the very best and worst of me.

now, I bid you farewell,

my dearly beloved niky"

I've come to terms with the loss of my cam.

as much heartache its causing,

to this "sortofwakeupcall",

I admit I'm pretty grateful

so, pardon the absence of photos for the time being.

as I source for a new form of

digital device to capture more

life worthy moments.

Withered denial

2006-11-25T01:40:00.000-08:00

"upteen times you reminded me,

yet i fell on deaf ears.

you were so right."

I'll never entrust anything dear to anyone.

its a painful lesson

but still,

I have only myself to blame.

fooled you

2006-11-16T13:50:00.000-08:00

my brother left me a lil surprise .

a surprise indeed

nbcb!thanks ar kor !!;(

Sins of the father

2006-11-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

I burry my heart in the depths of my soul .
I swallow the words I long to say.
I shun the overriding emotions.

cause I daren't deem a future with you.

Afterall ,i've stop believing in

fairytales and happy endings.

The anti clock

2006-11-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

it completes us ;)

Are all our thoughts in sync?

YESSS!!!

and to those who weren't there ;

UP YOURS!!!

Happy birthday gene :D

Take time

2006-11-10T18:19:00.000-08:00

cabbing down town,

i stopped to take notice of this year's Christmas lightings.

sadly, they seem to be depleting in their ideas

which is robbing the holiday mood ;(

somehow, just the idea of Christmas is bittersweet .

"memories I still hold close,

memories I'm still very grateful for.

so thank you ."

anyhow,

I'm anticipating the possibilities of a

perfect Christmas

with you :)

orgasmic delights

2006-11-07T22:26:00.000-08:00

I indulged in the most unexpected.

ten bucks worth of games ,

a pretty badly bruised knee

and two ungodly hours in an arcade .

and though I barely made stage 1

and never won

in any of those damn games ..

the company made in all worthwhile .

awesome sauce indeed ;D

pouty peeps

to sum it all up:

sugarcoated afternoons with her,

steamy dinners with them

and

berry nights at "kin"ville..

with you

this is as sweet as life can get :D

Every morning

2006-11-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

A habit I've got to break

And as usual,

a tad too over packed

but then again,

you could never go wrong with zouk :D

Ridd'in dirty

2006-11-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

boy,am i glad to be back.

hit the pool

with my love machine for a quick tan

and I fell asleep .

so I got a lil more then I asked for :(

Then it was off to 'kin'ville:

bike rides horse rides
and train rides

"ge wo ni de ai"

girl,you're everything and more ;)

lazy afternoons,

cuddly nights,

where hours fly by

and we're oblivious to any other existence.

where everything else falls short.

like in the movies,

i never knew it could be this good.

Roses in bloom

2006-10-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

the self absorbed and

'hej! hur mÃ¥r du?'

and thats all the swedish,

i can remember so far.

i traded in a promising night of waterfalls and flamings

for a laid back night under the stars

then

cheap drinks with excellent company for

a jampackedsardinedcan with expensive liquor for you.

and despite the makings of a bad night,it could not have been any better ;)

Drink like a fungus

2006-10-19T00:49:00.000-07:00

how I would look with a fringe.

I'll let you be the judge of that.

why I love busrides with you :)

when silence no longer becomes an issue.

"you're my tiny sugarbabe"

and I'm pretty sure I floated out of my body,

and onto cloud 9,alongside butterflies :D

Mortal silence

2006-10-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

leave me breathless.

for one last time,

leave me speechless.

Places to run,nowhere to hide

2006-10-16T19:50:00.000-07:00

hearmescreamhearmeyellasiabandonallformofinhibitions

letmeliveletmeberidofyouandyourexistencelettherainfall

washawaymyhatelet myheartfeelnopain

letitbeletmymindbeateaseletmesleep

crimsomredandgreyisallicansee.

.ineedaciggarette.

fall

2006-10-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

"flashes from the past,

my heart aching at the passing of every pitstop

and the melody,

it played at that exact interval,

right at the crossroads."

I'm so tired of waiting for perfection,

maybe nothing could really be perfect and

believing in perfection only makes everything less than perfect.

many accept, some settle..And

there are those who would only settle for butterflies.

Don't hate me

2006-10-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

We share similar sentiments ;)

No one left to blame

2006-10-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

emtpty bottles and cigarettes,

you make the nights less alone :)

*Queen of my heart*

did a lil'dance,made a lil love,

got down that night.

cameras, lights and action,

and we flickerwhores were back in action.

madmassive music,

tainted moments

induced with

hours of mischief.

safe here

2006-10-04T02:15:00.000-07:00

"someday. its only a matter of time."

Excuse,you.

2006-10-03T13:35:00.000-07:00

compiling events and accounts through the course of the past week,

would be whack,given that i have a mutual agreement with my body

that I've been perpetually awake for the past 3 consecutive days.

So,this week has by far,been my most emotionally vacant and

still the alreadyfcuked bodyclock refuses to head clockwise.

which annoys me that rest ain't just physically but mentally impossible.

Cause my mind's in its own limbo

and my trail of thoughts seem to be in tangles and knots,

I'll leave the visual essentials do my talking

while I work at getting back on track.

the overworked,

and the underpaid

buffet at sakae

and

we stashed the leftovers in the ginger container.

cheapskate, I know,

but a treat for the

next unexpecting customer ;)

Feigned smiles,inner cries, heartfelt lies

2006-09-27T02:30:00.000-07:00

because the grumps got the better of me,

and the ritual midnight boredom started eating into me,

we turned to inspire.

personally decorated, hand written quotes , of which were later slipped into random mailboxes :D

it was an unlikely remedy for the down and out.

"girl,you bring out the best in me "

2006-09-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

this is a double finger situation

FUCK HADY!!

2006-09-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

i'm thankful,
and there isn't a slightest bit of regret
but,
for now, i'll indulge in the past
cause it was once beautiful.

cut of brilliance

2006-09-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

gallons of bubbly juices, sweet smooches

and

quirky dances

truly,a champagne supernova :D

walk the talk

2006-09-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

"I know this is what I am to do,

I know this is how its meant to be

and now,I'll walk from here."

It's the making of many foreseen spontaneous evenings ;)

and I'm guessing it aint all that bad,

new horizons to explore..A lil on the edge,but otherwise..

i'm very much trying to contain my excitement.

Of late my nights seem to go lighter on me since its been preoccupied with

work and massive uploads of friends,the oc and grey anatomy.

surprise,surprise!!I'm finally done with satc .WooHoo :D

A combination of love and aggression,

you're that burning passion

table for three

2006-09-14T14:40:00.000-07:00

I love that despite all you still get me,

I love that our intellectual insanity's still intact,

I love that our hearts stay entwine,

I love that this still feels right,

I love, that.

an adopted intervention,

resulting in countless self thrown dinner parties

and a sudden obsession with cooking

with my head chef of lurve ;)

though I would say I don't make a good apprentice

or an aspiring cook in that matter..

but she''s been exceptionally patient*kisses*

and soon I'll single handle my very own .

"no worries dear,you'll still be the host.

and you,when I do, you'll be wishing you were back home ;p"

a thousand ninety five

2006-09-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

living under false pretense

the unwanted and unspoken has been told.

suppressed emotions still at large ,

I fear the consequence of the outcome.

2006-09-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

ihateyou

ihateeverysinglebitofthisfuckofalifeyougive

whywhenitakealeapoffaithyousomehow

managetodragmebackdown.

screwyouandyoutooformessingmylife

backupwithyourunwelcomedreappearance

soherei'mgladyoumadelifealivinghell

In limbo

2006-09-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

without coming off as a sounding like a total airhead,

I'll just come right out and say this.

As already in the known, I'm a total computer doink.

and well figuring out one of those

msn convo skype kinda thingy was like a huge step.

so,I applaud myself ^_^

anyway,it was great just hearing your voice again,

and if there wasn't enough emphasis,

i really miss you :)

with all the caffeine and drama overload,

it kinda got me thinking

i never saw walking away from the past as an option

but maybe it was the best

distance and time..

It was all that's needed.

and true enough it was..But yet

for a totally different outcome.

3 years, I survived that,

I survived you..

I'll survive me

2006-09-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

but today you finally drifted away :)

in your shadow

2006-09-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

thank you,

for the huge display of affection with your immense lack of faith in me.

thank you ,

for ruining my morning,with false accusations.

thank you ,

for constantly questioning my judgment.

thank you,

for being negative .

thank you,

for not listening.

thank you,

for reminding me that I'll always be indebted.

thanks dad,cause you make me

feel like a better person.

2006-08-31T06:13:00.000-07:00

i still feel you in my soul.

instant itch

2006-08-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

its another one of "those" days,

where all that surrounds me seem endearing.

everything,everyone..except me.

inadequate and lacking of some sort and yet I can't put a finger to it.

in an attempt to shake off these jaded emotions

and

avoid wallowing in any unwanted doubt,

I took a drastic measures of a run in the park with pud.

barely making 4 laps before collapsing from extreme exhaustion,and I mean literally.

(damn!Those friggin ciggs)

even now,there's needed effort to breathe and I'm still seeing spots *~*

despite the added shapes to my vision, my skin does feel unusually smooth :P

anyhow,the pending downloads have been downloaded

and I shall gain back every bit of them carbs by pigging out on

pancakes and a tub of Ben and jerrys .

Singing the blues

2006-08-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

first the farewell dinner then a farewell party.

I headed for the last of our Saturday liquid affair.

alas,all good things must come to an end.

And so, for a timely closure

as I bid farewell to my impulsive clubbing and endless drinking.

cheerios to an adopted lifestyle of the holy innocents ;)

"everybody, report to the dancefloor.. Right now."

2006-08-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

there's no comfort in the waiting room

rainbow skies and paper clouds

2006-08-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

tada!!

and thats not hokkien mee by the way dinner and pre-dinner idiocy *~*later:our very last bonding session over ciggs and wine

"peace.love.unity.respect"

i promise i'll stick to that ;)

2006-08-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

to market ,to marketto johnys,to johnys
" stopping for a moment"
and finally,

to kitchen,to kitchen

In falls time

2006-08-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

water,essential for us

and the plants

"and we'll strike a pact with the sun"

house calls

2006-08-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

technotrance,trippylightsticks and insanelywhacked

. Sober..Drunk.
.Smashed.

the sexy white "tigress" ;)

and as promised,we rocked the club

and

brought the house down ;p

2006-08-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

The night was old , but far from cold

and yet the fun was far from over..

The social parade

2006-08-17T04:27:00.000-07:00

"puddlelf"

2006-08-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

and because i'm still up at this deadly hour *-*

me very own life-size ewok :)

steal my heart

2006-08-15T02:00:00.000-07:00

give

reason

stay

Starved

2006-08-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

its like the ringing of silence.

the unbearable and unshakable sense of it all ,

an unwanted validation .

what it has become,the undesired fate.

laid.laid off

The "whether"

2006-08-11T05:07:00.000-07:00

it is now 5 in the morning.

while trying to sub reruns of a

"how did you let it get this far?" situation,

replaying in my mind,

I maxed out on satc and friends reruns.

solutions..And here come the problems.

I would go for a smoke

but I ain't got one,

I would have a beer ,but I'm out of that too.

and if I could, I really would like that trip to snoozeland

but my head's operating on a totally whacked out frequency

and popping a pill would be too drastic a choice.

so here I am,

mildly radiated,extremely restless and not making any sense.

paper hearts

2006-08-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

cause its all too hard

i pretend i'm doing all i can.

Matching faces with fear

2006-08-03T23:51:00.001-07:00

I headed down to the columbarium ,alone.

I needed to face my fears ,deal with my grief, and overcome my guilt.

its been 3yrs..Yet I could never bring myself a yard closer.

avoiding any emotions ,never admitting how much it hurt.

as I walked my self down the aisle..that overwhelming smell of death,

edging closer..the battle between the head and the heart.

All this while you think,maybe..It might all just go away,

but it never does.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there..

I'm sorry I let you down

I'm sorry I was being a coward."

closure.